The truth is….
I remember long ago, when a few of us explained what ‘white lie’ means to my ex boss whom never heard of it before. He said a lie is a lie, and it is not a good thing to lie…
In case you never heard of, ‘white lie’ is something that not causing major harm to others and pleasant to listen to. E.g. one would tell the bride how beautiful she look on her wedding day, a mother would tell her little daughter that she went overseas just to get her some presents….
Can you accept that when someone says to you that your make up artist did not do a very good job on your wedding day?
Can you accept that your employee told you that you are a very indecisive boss?
Can you accept that your friend tells you that you are a very emotional person that they just could not stand you?
Can you accept that your work partner tells you that s/he feels competition when working with you?
Now I understand that a lie is a lie. There is not much different between a white lie or an actual lie. But how many of us can handle the truth all the time?
I am a straightforward and honest person; I needed to take some time to learn to swallow the truth for my personal growth. I, too, find it hard to swallow the truth sometimes.
On the other hand, I face numerous disappointment of being too honest. What have I done wrong? I questioned myself…
The truth is, most human still love to bath in the world of lie. That is nothing wrong with that. It is just the timing that is matter.
Timing?
A child may not be able to accept that there is no Tooth Fairy at the age of 4….
A teenager may not be able to accept that their parents are not in good term…
Maturity does not grow with age! Some adults may have different level of understanding on certain issues that brought up. It may be differences in the up bringing, differences in the beliefs system, and differences in the speed of growth…
Therefore, we may meet some old folks who are very traditional and resistant to change. On the other hand, some are very modern and could blend in well with the youngsters…
In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), we learn:
‘Respect other people model of the world’
That means every one of us is unique in our speed of growth and belief system. We respect all including the differences in religion, age, gentle and their way of life.
We speak to them without judgment and comparison in helping them to move forward at their level. So that they can complete their phase of learning without the need of going back to experience ups and downs in life.
Thus, the truth is still depending on individual level of growth and acceptance.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Believing is seeing - Sensory Acuity
The time we started to unlearn our unconscious mind and learn to use our brain consciously, we usually given straight forward objects with pictures, signs, gestures, objects (toys), also by material texture (feeling by our tongue and hands) and physical touch (hugs and kisses).
We always have the idea of ‘seeing is believing’. We solidified with this point by our school results, pictures with how is a smiling face look like, how is a sad face look like, or even our height and weight measurement, appearances of how we dress, … things that we can measure and grasp hold of.
Seeing is believing is highly accepted and commonly used especially when we hear people saying ‘prove to me’.
On the other hand, there are groups of people believing in ‘believing is seeing’. The believing is seeing in them is what they call luck, confident, faith, trust, timing, readiness…
There is something in between when we do not see them physically. We learned on how to pick them up along the way when we are in the adulthood and some even at the younger age. Little things like e.g. we know how sincere in the service by a waiter/ress at a restaurant. S/he could do everything perfectly with a smile, yet we know in side of us how willingly the person could do for us.
How do we explain that?
How do we know even in a short meeting with the person?
In NLP, this is called ‘Sensory Acuity’.
This is one of the most basic foundations we learned in the practitioner workshop. That is to pick up how the person’s feel in side of them in the most fundamental way. Are they sad? Are they happy? Do they have resistance? Are they sincere? Are they ready to make the change?
Professionally, we use sensory acuity to help the client to make the change, to let go of negative emotions and limiting beliefs. It is such a useful tool to help others, to see whether they are ready to move on to the next step in life.
You can pick it up easily too.
Just practice with a partner, with intervals to ask the person to think of:
1. The person s/he dislike most and then,
2. The person s/he like most
Look closely and pay attention to their facial expression. Pay attention to the detail in their face like the eye dilation, lines on their lips, facial color change, breathing, …
With more practice, your sensory acuity will become more sensitive.
We always have the idea of ‘seeing is believing’. We solidified with this point by our school results, pictures with how is a smiling face look like, how is a sad face look like, or even our height and weight measurement, appearances of how we dress, … things that we can measure and grasp hold of.
Seeing is believing is highly accepted and commonly used especially when we hear people saying ‘prove to me’.
On the other hand, there are groups of people believing in ‘believing is seeing’. The believing is seeing in them is what they call luck, confident, faith, trust, timing, readiness…
There is something in between when we do not see them physically. We learned on how to pick them up along the way when we are in the adulthood and some even at the younger age. Little things like e.g. we know how sincere in the service by a waiter/ress at a restaurant. S/he could do everything perfectly with a smile, yet we know in side of us how willingly the person could do for us.
How do we explain that?
How do we know even in a short meeting with the person?
In NLP, this is called ‘Sensory Acuity’.
This is one of the most basic foundations we learned in the practitioner workshop. That is to pick up how the person’s feel in side of them in the most fundamental way. Are they sad? Are they happy? Do they have resistance? Are they sincere? Are they ready to make the change?
Professionally, we use sensory acuity to help the client to make the change, to let go of negative emotions and limiting beliefs. It is such a useful tool to help others, to see whether they are ready to move on to the next step in life.
You can pick it up easily too.
Just practice with a partner, with intervals to ask the person to think of:
1. The person s/he dislike most and then,
2. The person s/he like most
Look closely and pay attention to their facial expression. Pay attention to the detail in their face like the eye dilation, lines on their lips, facial color change, breathing, …
With more practice, your sensory acuity will become more sensitive.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Regain Your Power!
Lately I found my life story is such a hilarious!
I used to have boxes of beliefs about things that prevent me to receive some beautiful things in life. When I look back now, my life has been mainly with jokes!
Imagine you have been believing in seeing ghost in the past 40 years. You were threaten by them, feeling fearful of their presence, forcing self to accept them as part of the universe, created negative emotion because of their miserable sad stories…. And now you realized that there is no such thing as having them, they are just in your imagination.
The feeling is like all this while you believe the world is a flat land, but now you realized it is a globe! What a joke!
A great teacher always says ‘All siblings will give a different meaning about the environment in the house even they grew up in the same house in the same family’.
Imagine if there is an interview for all my five siblings. There will be five different versions of their description on how the home we grew up together. All the feeling in experiences in the house would be based on individual’s boxes of beliefs and what they want to experience.
This is like all religions work, as long as we have ‘faith’ in it. What we get is what we ask for.
But sometimes people get confused of what they ask for, though all of us can manifest things come into our life easily.
Maybe now you want to bring up a problem in life. Something that happen to you and this problem is still exists. Just bring your problem up to your mind now. It can be a problem in relationship, money, career, health…..Something that bothering you.
Now, you can start rephrasing your problem into the questions listed below.
- Why this happen?
- Why this happen to me?
- Why God allow me to experience this and not helping me?
- Why they treat me like this?
- Why shouldn’t I make a decision to…?
Notice that you have some answers appear when you ask those questions to yourself….
Now, notice the feeling that you have got with the answers that you have in side of you. Notice how you feel in side of you….
By asking the questions above listed, we are actually pushing the problem out from us. We treat the problem out side of us as we do not accept what ever happen to us.
Guess what happen when we push the problem out side of us?
We are making ourselves loosing the power of making the change and feeling helpless by answering the ‘why’ that we have. We are pushing away the help from the universe and from our unconscious mind. In fact, we are pushing away the opportunity to grow and learning the lessons that come to us.
…….
Now, bring back the problem and start to rephrase your problem into the questions below:
‘HOW DO I RESOLVE THIS ISSUE?’
&
‘WHAT CAN I DO NOW?
Repeat the questions if necessary and notice the answers come into your mind. Now, notice the feeling that you have now. Notice the different in feeling now regarding your issue…. Just feel it….
By repeatedly asking ‘How do I resolve this issue?’ & ‘What can I do now?’ to yourself, do you notice that you have regained your power to be in the position in order to make the change? Do you feel that you actually CAN resolve the issue easily and effortlessly with so many options out there?
Great teachers always use wise questioning to empower their students. We learn language pattern in NLP. NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming, which means using the language of your mind to consistently achieve your desire goals.
It is just as simple as that! To regain your power!
Connect Closely with your Unconscious Mind
& Reactivate your Energy Healing.
Join SC on this monthly meditation session.
On 19 July 2010 at 7.30 to 9.30pm.
Venue: Simei Green Condo.
9, #07-03, Simei St. 4, 529865.
Please contact SC for more information
I used to have boxes of beliefs about things that prevent me to receive some beautiful things in life. When I look back now, my life has been mainly with jokes!
Imagine you have been believing in seeing ghost in the past 40 years. You were threaten by them, feeling fearful of their presence, forcing self to accept them as part of the universe, created negative emotion because of their miserable sad stories…. And now you realized that there is no such thing as having them, they are just in your imagination.
The feeling is like all this while you believe the world is a flat land, but now you realized it is a globe! What a joke!
A great teacher always says ‘All siblings will give a different meaning about the environment in the house even they grew up in the same house in the same family’.
Imagine if there is an interview for all my five siblings. There will be five different versions of their description on how the home we grew up together. All the feeling in experiences in the house would be based on individual’s boxes of beliefs and what they want to experience.
This is like all religions work, as long as we have ‘faith’ in it. What we get is what we ask for.
But sometimes people get confused of what they ask for, though all of us can manifest things come into our life easily.
Maybe now you want to bring up a problem in life. Something that happen to you and this problem is still exists. Just bring your problem up to your mind now. It can be a problem in relationship, money, career, health…..Something that bothering you.
Now, you can start rephrasing your problem into the questions listed below.
- Why this happen?
- Why this happen to me?
- Why God allow me to experience this and not helping me?
- Why they treat me like this?
- Why shouldn’t I make a decision to…?
Notice that you have some answers appear when you ask those questions to yourself….
Now, notice the feeling that you have got with the answers that you have in side of you. Notice how you feel in side of you….
By asking the questions above listed, we are actually pushing the problem out from us. We treat the problem out side of us as we do not accept what ever happen to us.
Guess what happen when we push the problem out side of us?
We are making ourselves loosing the power of making the change and feeling helpless by answering the ‘why’ that we have. We are pushing away the help from the universe and from our unconscious mind. In fact, we are pushing away the opportunity to grow and learning the lessons that come to us.
…….
Now, bring back the problem and start to rephrase your problem into the questions below:
‘HOW DO I RESOLVE THIS ISSUE?’
&
‘WHAT CAN I DO NOW?
Repeat the questions if necessary and notice the answers come into your mind. Now, notice the feeling that you have now. Notice the different in feeling now regarding your issue…. Just feel it….
By repeatedly asking ‘How do I resolve this issue?’ & ‘What can I do now?’ to yourself, do you notice that you have regained your power to be in the position in order to make the change? Do you feel that you actually CAN resolve the issue easily and effortlessly with so many options out there?
Great teachers always use wise questioning to empower their students. We learn language pattern in NLP. NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming, which means using the language of your mind to consistently achieve your desire goals.
It is just as simple as that! To regain your power!
Connect Closely with your Unconscious Mind
& Reactivate your Energy Healing.
Join SC on this monthly meditation session.
On 19 July 2010 at 7.30 to 9.30pm.
Venue: Simei Green Condo.
9, #07-03, Simei St. 4, 529865.
Please contact SC for more information
Monday, June 7, 2010
Fear Not Competition
Recently I have been dealing with my inner issue – competition. I competed to be a big time loser unconsciously when I was young and eventually played a big time winner (I thought I won). I thought no one at home seem to notice though I have tried very hard to play in the role of loser/winner. The eagerness to be in the role, I have lost the joy of being myself and putting on masks to drag myself through life. Have I really winning in the role?
No matter how we thought we were a winner, the sad part is, in order to be a winner; we always wanted someone to lose consciously or unconsciously. Don’t you think we are still losing no matter which side of the equation that we are siding?
We tend to think how others steal our ideas and to become successful before we do, we afraid of how others learn faster than us, we worried of how others do better than us, … eventually, we focus the external too much that self created much more fear to move forward in life.
By having competition, we wouldn’t lower our guard by keep tracking how others are doing. We feel threaten when others are doing well and we tend to find fault of others to release our stress.
When we see how others are doing better than us, we sometimes add in more stress by modeling of what others have been doing.
The thing is, all of us are unique. We are all good in the areas that excite us. If all of us were to design to be successful by doing the same thing, then no one would be the support of one another.
All of us have the blue print to play the main role in life. We are also act as a supporting role to one another with the people around us. Imagine both parents wanted to play the role of taking care of the kids at home, full time. Then who is the one who bring in the money to support the family?
Imagine if all of us wanted to become a teacher, then who will be the one to run the institute, the administrative work, marketing, finance,…?
The fact is, the universe provides for all of us and never leaves anyone out. Whether we want to make it big or small in life does not deter our search for happiness.
Success would sure present as long as we follow our heart and passion to live in life.
How we define success is also very individual. There are some takes careers as the main focus in life. Or some, raising their children is their purpose. Thus, all of us are unique. What we are meant to do and way to do, to achieve our own success are also different.
There may be many who are in the same industry or having the same objective as you do, however, all have their unique way to obtain their goals.
What works for you may not work for them. Even if, we follow our passion and all selling the same thing, locating at the same place, we sure would have supporters/clients to come to us. Just like at some hawker centers, all are having good business as long as they are good.
So fear not competition
We only compete with ourselves to ensure that we are one step better than yesterday.
No matter how we thought we were a winner, the sad part is, in order to be a winner; we always wanted someone to lose consciously or unconsciously. Don’t you think we are still losing no matter which side of the equation that we are siding?
We tend to think how others steal our ideas and to become successful before we do, we afraid of how others learn faster than us, we worried of how others do better than us, … eventually, we focus the external too much that self created much more fear to move forward in life.
By having competition, we wouldn’t lower our guard by keep tracking how others are doing. We feel threaten when others are doing well and we tend to find fault of others to release our stress.
When we see how others are doing better than us, we sometimes add in more stress by modeling of what others have been doing.
The thing is, all of us are unique. We are all good in the areas that excite us. If all of us were to design to be successful by doing the same thing, then no one would be the support of one another.
All of us have the blue print to play the main role in life. We are also act as a supporting role to one another with the people around us. Imagine both parents wanted to play the role of taking care of the kids at home, full time. Then who is the one who bring in the money to support the family?
Imagine if all of us wanted to become a teacher, then who will be the one to run the institute, the administrative work, marketing, finance,…?
The fact is, the universe provides for all of us and never leaves anyone out. Whether we want to make it big or small in life does not deter our search for happiness.
Success would sure present as long as we follow our heart and passion to live in life.
How we define success is also very individual. There are some takes careers as the main focus in life. Or some, raising their children is their purpose. Thus, all of us are unique. What we are meant to do and way to do, to achieve our own success are also different.
There may be many who are in the same industry or having the same objective as you do, however, all have their unique way to obtain their goals.
What works for you may not work for them. Even if, we follow our passion and all selling the same thing, locating at the same place, we sure would have supporters/clients to come to us. Just like at some hawker centers, all are having good business as long as they are good.
So fear not competition
We only compete with ourselves to ensure that we are one step better than yesterday.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Brain Restructuring
Have you experienced feeling lost before?
Or rather you feel having low energy?
Sometimes you wonder why little thing can agitate you…
Maybe you experienced for a period of time, you just could not function as usual, even on the simple tasks that you were good at?
This is the time that no matter how much you struggle and force yourself to produce that kind of result, and yet it seems not as satisfying.
Why is this happening now?
Why it seems so unusual for you at this moment?
Why it seems not working on the area that you were very good at?
What is the matter to you?
What is brain restructuring?
Brain restructuring?
Is it like going through a major brain surgery?
We all live in life with a blueprint in us.
We are just holding the pieces of the blueprint to live in life, and yet we are not putting the pieces in place.
Thus, we go off track and on track often in life, as we do not know consciously where we are going and what we are doing.
When the learning is enough for us to accept the art of our blueprint, we started to have this ‘low energy period’, a transition period of what we called ‘Brain Restructuring’.
Brain restructuring is a period that you are putting your pieces back to the blueprint.
Yes, this is the time you find yourself progressing and regressing at the same time.
Progressing in the inner world whether or not you aware of the changes in side, the nature have taken place to put back the pieces according to the blueprint.
Regressing is the feeling that you consciously feel that you are not functioning as before, you feel agitate, low energy, uncertainty, out of control, incompetent,… it is an uncomfortable feeling.
This is an important period to stay patient with yourself as you may find that you have lead to new ways of doing almost everything in your life.
The old way does not work to you anymore, thus you may find it a struggle, challenge, chaos, tired, …
Why it called brain restructuring, because you are unlearning what you have learned and at the same time, learning new skill to move ahead in life.
Be patient, as everything will work through you naturally. You are not required to force learning as long as you follow your compass at your heart.
You are not much different from a newborn baby. The only difference is you are unlearning from your conscious mind and operate more on the unconscious mind, which is the opposite from a newborn baby.
People around you may not understand. You just not like before and your ego mind keeps distracting you not to follow your heart. However, the more you control, the more unpleasant you may experience.
The confusion and conflict between the conscious mind and the unconscious mind thus, feeling lost.
When you try to control and swim against the current, thus the low energy.
The resistant to change thus, feeling uncertainty.
The inner world calling out for helps thus, the agitation.
You feel uncomfortable because consciously you feel that you are not as competent as before. Some may think that their age catching up, experiencing depression or mid life crisis. It is because the ‘old’ way does not work or produce that kind of result any more. They feel that they ‘need’ to look for an answer externally and try to control and work the way as before.
The more that they control, the more they are out of control…
The length of the brain-restructuring period is depending on how patient and relax you are. As the work of restructuring the inner world come naturally through you. You just need to be relax and patient. Most importantly, follow your heart as your compass. By doing so, the answer or the truth unfolding to you slowly. Therefore, the more patient and relax you are, the shorter the period of the transition.
Alternatively to have a smoother transition, you can do meditation or spend time alone to let the inner world settle from the cloudy sky.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Why? Why? Why?
“Mummy, why the sky is so high?”
“Mummy, why do you need to go to work everyday?”
“Mummy, why the leaf is green but not in my favorite color, red?”
Children are the easiest bunch of little human who just accept what ever answers given to them…
They just accept as it is…
Never think that they do not have opinion, many of us do remember our childhood heartbreaks…. But we just accept it is as it is…we still love our parents dearly…
Children always have flexibility to adapt changes…
“Why don’t I get the chance to come back late?”
“Why can’t I hang out with my friends at this hour?”
“Why you do not believe me that it was not me who did this?”
When we reached our teen, some of us began to rebel…
We hurt ourselves or people around us in order to make the world to follow our way, our value, and our beliefs…
In the actual fact, we began to learn on how to live our life in the way we want….
We unconsciously started to build the muscle of ‘only my way is the best way’….
As an adult, we continue to ask questions to find out more before we take action…. Asking ‘why’ and ‘how come’ have become our habit…
We forgotten to be flexible in life as to accept what it is it is when we were kids….
We keep the ‘my way is the best way’ in us as precious and resist to let go…unconsciously, resistance to change…
When we resist to change while the whole world is changing fast without mercy, we create even more ‘why’ questions….
The ‘why’ that we do not get a satisfying answer in return…
Why?
Why is it that life is such a way?
Why is this happening to affect my way of living?
Why it takes so long for me to go through the uncertainty?
Why? Why? Why?
The ‘why’ arrive with seeking for answer… and we are lost…
However, seekers always hope to see the one, true, final answer (infinite Intelligence) that will settle all doubts,… but instead we hunt for clue.
We missed the true simple answer by not believing that it is that simple…
We missed the true simple answer by distracting ourselves with external activities…
We missed the true simple answer by fooling ourselves that ‘can’t be true’ by asking more ‘why’…
….
Why are you still holding on?
You have tried so many ways, aren’t you feel tired?
…
Just do this…
…
Let go both of your hands and keep walking…
…
Be brave to trust and accept it is as it is…
Live IN life as a child…
Be flexible to accept the changes…
Life is just that simple…
Soon you will find that you have the key to unlock the ‘why’ in life…
Because the answer is all within YOU…. unfolding while you walk…
“Mummy, why do you need to go to work everyday?”
“Mummy, why the leaf is green but not in my favorite color, red?”
Children are the easiest bunch of little human who just accept what ever answers given to them…
They just accept as it is…
Never think that they do not have opinion, many of us do remember our childhood heartbreaks…. But we just accept it is as it is…we still love our parents dearly…
Children always have flexibility to adapt changes…
“Why don’t I get the chance to come back late?”
“Why can’t I hang out with my friends at this hour?”
“Why you do not believe me that it was not me who did this?”
When we reached our teen, some of us began to rebel…
We hurt ourselves or people around us in order to make the world to follow our way, our value, and our beliefs…
In the actual fact, we began to learn on how to live our life in the way we want….
We unconsciously started to build the muscle of ‘only my way is the best way’….
As an adult, we continue to ask questions to find out more before we take action…. Asking ‘why’ and ‘how come’ have become our habit…
We forgotten to be flexible in life as to accept what it is it is when we were kids….
We keep the ‘my way is the best way’ in us as precious and resist to let go…unconsciously, resistance to change…
When we resist to change while the whole world is changing fast without mercy, we create even more ‘why’ questions….
The ‘why’ that we do not get a satisfying answer in return…
Why?
Why is it that life is such a way?
Why is this happening to affect my way of living?
Why it takes so long for me to go through the uncertainty?
Why? Why? Why?
The ‘why’ arrive with seeking for answer… and we are lost…
However, seekers always hope to see the one, true, final answer (infinite Intelligence) that will settle all doubts,… but instead we hunt for clue.
We missed the true simple answer by not believing that it is that simple…
We missed the true simple answer by distracting ourselves with external activities…
We missed the true simple answer by fooling ourselves that ‘can’t be true’ by asking more ‘why’…
….
Why are you still holding on?
You have tried so many ways, aren’t you feel tired?
…
Just do this…
…
Let go both of your hands and keep walking…
…
Be brave to trust and accept it is as it is…
Live IN life as a child…
Be flexible to accept the changes…
Life is just that simple…
Soon you will find that you have the key to unlock the ‘why’ in life…
Because the answer is all within YOU…. unfolding while you walk…
Lost Identity
Why there are times we feel lost?
Why there are times we have achieved great result in life and yet we still seek for happiness?
Why we seem cannot enjoy the happiness of what others deem that we have?
For so long that we have been told to do things that have guideline laid out for us to follow. You just have to diligently work on it, follow the rule and regulation to produce result. Day and night, 24 by 7, you live through life carefully to learn, just waiting for that one day you will find your true happiness.
You could be building a career, seeking for true love or for great knowledge… you just do what you need to do in order to reach your dream.
It is just like nurturing your child to be a great man who would contribute to the society and make you feel proud….
Or it could be like building your muscles to have that great strength to carry the weight one day….
Or sitting in the cell of prison to learn what ever is given in order to live a new meaningful life after you term expired….
You have been working so hard for so many years…
One day, you found your child has grown up and left home. You need not care for him that much any more….
You have built enough strength to carry the weight that is needed….
Your term has expired, it is time for you to release from the cell….
You feel lost because you are no longer required to do the same thing anymore….
You are searching for your identity…. Your lost identity….
Living your own life in your own pace without needed to care for the daily three meals of your child….
Letting go of the weight that has required you to sustain your muscle in the past….
Throwing away the habit of follow the rules to report every movement and progress you made in prison….
Suddenly it is hard for you to adapt to go free and out of your restriction that you have set up by yourself….
You may find similar situation when the school children ‘temporary’ feeling lost during a long school break…. or one who just retired from work.
How do we find our lost identity?
How do we adapt the new way of life?
How do we do in order to adapt changes in life?
How do we let go of the resistance to change so that we would not feel lost again?
Remember the time when you were lost on the first day of work in a new office?
You did not know where to get your things in order to do your work.
If you were to keep holding on the struggle to stay in control and comparing to the old company structure, you would end up miserably missing the old office that you used to work at and not enjoying at present.
Rather, you move ahead to learn to enjoy working in the new office by adapting to what is given to you…
To find your identity…
Let go of the control and start living in the flow of life…
Make changes accordingly by listening to your heart…
Be flexible to adapt new ideas even if you wanted to take pleasure in being a couch potato for one whole month…
Be patient to yourself, you will soon realize you are actually unwrapping your gift to live in your new life….
Why there are times we have achieved great result in life and yet we still seek for happiness?
Why we seem cannot enjoy the happiness of what others deem that we have?
For so long that we have been told to do things that have guideline laid out for us to follow. You just have to diligently work on it, follow the rule and regulation to produce result. Day and night, 24 by 7, you live through life carefully to learn, just waiting for that one day you will find your true happiness.
You could be building a career, seeking for true love or for great knowledge… you just do what you need to do in order to reach your dream.
It is just like nurturing your child to be a great man who would contribute to the society and make you feel proud….
Or it could be like building your muscles to have that great strength to carry the weight one day….
Or sitting in the cell of prison to learn what ever is given in order to live a new meaningful life after you term expired….
You have been working so hard for so many years…
One day, you found your child has grown up and left home. You need not care for him that much any more….
You have built enough strength to carry the weight that is needed….
Your term has expired, it is time for you to release from the cell….
You feel lost because you are no longer required to do the same thing anymore….
You are searching for your identity…. Your lost identity….
Living your own life in your own pace without needed to care for the daily three meals of your child….
Letting go of the weight that has required you to sustain your muscle in the past….
Throwing away the habit of follow the rules to report every movement and progress you made in prison….
Suddenly it is hard for you to adapt to go free and out of your restriction that you have set up by yourself….
You may find similar situation when the school children ‘temporary’ feeling lost during a long school break…. or one who just retired from work.
How do we find our lost identity?
How do we adapt the new way of life?
How do we do in order to adapt changes in life?
How do we let go of the resistance to change so that we would not feel lost again?
Remember the time when you were lost on the first day of work in a new office?
You did not know where to get your things in order to do your work.
If you were to keep holding on the struggle to stay in control and comparing to the old company structure, you would end up miserably missing the old office that you used to work at and not enjoying at present.
Rather, you move ahead to learn to enjoy working in the new office by adapting to what is given to you…
To find your identity…
Let go of the control and start living in the flow of life…
Make changes accordingly by listening to your heart…
Be flexible to adapt new ideas even if you wanted to take pleasure in being a couch potato for one whole month…
Be patient to yourself, you will soon realize you are actually unwrapping your gift to live in your new life….
Appreciation brings in Inspiration
Have you met someone who is so passionate at his/her work?
Have you met someone who is so alive and creative at work?
I have met a few, and recently I worked with a gentleman who is so inspired at work and managed every single detail creatively. He is like an energizer in the team and stands out brightly. His sincere laughter and teaching leaves a strong image in me. I was overwhelmed by his behavior at first, then realized there is so much to learn from him after understanding him.
Curiosity brought me to ask him some questions about the reasons that drive him to work with so much passion. He said ‘I really appreciate everything that I have and especially this job.’ The answer came so simple...
We all know what appreciation is. Many times it is much easier for us to say it then to really feel it, as we always want for more.
Appreciation is when we feel thankful even we were offered half full cup of coke when we are thirsty, a few quiet months in business is an opportunity to seek for alternative, a forgetful partner is to add up spice in our learning, or we are not good enough in a subject will lead us to a new passion.
When we appreciate of what we have, we begin to become creative. Instead of keep thinking what resources or luck is not given enough, we make full use of what we have to produce inspiring excellent result.
Inspiration is always come from the starting point of appreciation. When we put our focus solely on comparing and competing of what we are lacking, there is always no way out for producing an inspiring result. However, when we appreciate of what we have, we started to be flexible and creative.
In one of the Presupposition of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming):
‘People have all the resources they need to succeed and to
achieve their desired outcomes. (They are no unresourceful
people, only unresourceful states.)’
It means we have everything, all the resources that we need to be successful and to achieve our desired outcomes. There is no such thing as we are lack of resources, but only we are lack of the appropriate state of mind.
‘Anything is possible’ by Dr. Tad James
Start appreciating of what we have and inspiration will follow.
Have you met someone who is so alive and creative at work?
I have met a few, and recently I worked with a gentleman who is so inspired at work and managed every single detail creatively. He is like an energizer in the team and stands out brightly. His sincere laughter and teaching leaves a strong image in me. I was overwhelmed by his behavior at first, then realized there is so much to learn from him after understanding him.
Curiosity brought me to ask him some questions about the reasons that drive him to work with so much passion. He said ‘I really appreciate everything that I have and especially this job.’ The answer came so simple...
We all know what appreciation is. Many times it is much easier for us to say it then to really feel it, as we always want for more.
Appreciation is when we feel thankful even we were offered half full cup of coke when we are thirsty, a few quiet months in business is an opportunity to seek for alternative, a forgetful partner is to add up spice in our learning, or we are not good enough in a subject will lead us to a new passion.
When we appreciate of what we have, we begin to become creative. Instead of keep thinking what resources or luck is not given enough, we make full use of what we have to produce inspiring excellent result.
Inspiration is always come from the starting point of appreciation. When we put our focus solely on comparing and competing of what we are lacking, there is always no way out for producing an inspiring result. However, when we appreciate of what we have, we started to be flexible and creative.
In one of the Presupposition of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming):
‘People have all the resources they need to succeed and to
achieve their desired outcomes. (They are no unresourceful
people, only unresourceful states.)’
It means we have everything, all the resources that we need to be successful and to achieve our desired outcomes. There is no such thing as we are lack of resources, but only we are lack of the appropriate state of mind.
‘Anything is possible’ by Dr. Tad James
Start appreciating of what we have and inspiration will follow.
Choice without a choice
I have been wondering… many of us are aware too… we chose everything happen in life. I mean every situations, circumstances, lessons,…. before we came to this world. And we say, ‘we always have choice in life’….
However, how many of us are really, truly could remember of what we have choose before we came here? Beside all the dejavu, feeling on track,…. and that’s when we have already walked through at present in order to realize that.
Well, if we really could remember everything that we chose before hand, life would not be as interesting. Just like we watch the same old movie again…
Since young, we were told that we would be a happier person if we were in control with more choices…
We have planted the seed of the idea of ‘controlling’ life. That means once we are in control, we feel that we have a choice. We rushed to finish our homework, so that we could enjoy in various way after work. We made sure we did well, so that we can have more choices in the courses that we want to do or increase the chances with better universities to enter….
We told ourselves that we would be a happier person if we were in control with more choices…
In the contrary, every phase that we go through, we limit our choice… by…
We thought we would be happy once we work in a well-established company…
Then, we thought we would be even happier if we married to our dream partner who fulfilled our pre listed quality.…
Later, we thought we would have even more joy if we had lovely children…
When the kids go to school, we thought we would be even much more delight in having kids who score 100% every year in all areas…
……
You may say we ‘must’ have progress in life… and everything is in our hands and we are always in control… with choice
Have you noticed that the more you want to control, the more the situation is out of control?
Many of us are chasing after the choice that we thought we are in control…
If everything is in our hand and we are in control, there would not be ‘mid life crisis’ or depression happen to those highly educated, born with a silver spoon or someone with highly respectable professional job…
We know that everything is unfolding before us. The universe has planned everything for us whether we believe in it or not…
When we are holding on to our ‘controlling’, that is ‘trying’ to be certain in how things happen to us in the future and creating more limiting boxes to ourselves. E.g. do you enjoy watching a predictable happy ending movie? Or you rather allow yourself to accept what’s come next even you know that the main character would have happy ending?
Once we are building up resistance in life… and we want to take over the job and make god unemployed like what Funny Chuck and Feminine Lency have mentioned.
But, many times, we are out of control.
What do we do?
What do we do now?
…..
In one of the presuppositions of NLP:
‘Flexibility in Behavior Controls the System’.
Stay true to yourself and communicate with your heart by feeling it every moment. You heart always leads you to the truth in life. Let go of ‘trying to be in control’ of what is the most right thing to do, and just accept whatever comes into our life…
We can start to do with something small. We do not need to explain or give any reason why we want to do what we do…
When feeling like going to beach, then just ‘choose’ to go to the beach…
When wanting to give our love ones a hug, then just ‘choose’ to give him/her a hug…
Let go of all the conscious talking and surrender in all that is… even a well-paid lawyer can be inspired to choose to be an excellent joyful art teacher…
A choice without a choice…
Do we really have a choice in life?
It does not really matter any more…
Just let the streams carries you and live ‘IN’ life…
Phew! I finally feel more of myself now…
However, how many of us are really, truly could remember of what we have choose before we came here? Beside all the dejavu, feeling on track,…. and that’s when we have already walked through at present in order to realize that.
Well, if we really could remember everything that we chose before hand, life would not be as interesting. Just like we watch the same old movie again…
Since young, we were told that we would be a happier person if we were in control with more choices…
We have planted the seed of the idea of ‘controlling’ life. That means once we are in control, we feel that we have a choice. We rushed to finish our homework, so that we could enjoy in various way after work. We made sure we did well, so that we can have more choices in the courses that we want to do or increase the chances with better universities to enter….
We told ourselves that we would be a happier person if we were in control with more choices…
In the contrary, every phase that we go through, we limit our choice… by…
We thought we would be happy once we work in a well-established company…
Then, we thought we would be even happier if we married to our dream partner who fulfilled our pre listed quality.…
Later, we thought we would have even more joy if we had lovely children…
When the kids go to school, we thought we would be even much more delight in having kids who score 100% every year in all areas…
……
You may say we ‘must’ have progress in life… and everything is in our hands and we are always in control… with choice
Have you noticed that the more you want to control, the more the situation is out of control?
Many of us are chasing after the choice that we thought we are in control…
If everything is in our hand and we are in control, there would not be ‘mid life crisis’ or depression happen to those highly educated, born with a silver spoon or someone with highly respectable professional job…
We know that everything is unfolding before us. The universe has planned everything for us whether we believe in it or not…
When we are holding on to our ‘controlling’, that is ‘trying’ to be certain in how things happen to us in the future and creating more limiting boxes to ourselves. E.g. do you enjoy watching a predictable happy ending movie? Or you rather allow yourself to accept what’s come next even you know that the main character would have happy ending?
Once we are building up resistance in life… and we want to take over the job and make god unemployed like what Funny Chuck and Feminine Lency have mentioned.
But, many times, we are out of control.
What do we do?
What do we do now?
…..
In one of the presuppositions of NLP:
‘Flexibility in Behavior Controls the System’.
Stay true to yourself and communicate with your heart by feeling it every moment. You heart always leads you to the truth in life. Let go of ‘trying to be in control’ of what is the most right thing to do, and just accept whatever comes into our life…
We can start to do with something small. We do not need to explain or give any reason why we want to do what we do…
When feeling like going to beach, then just ‘choose’ to go to the beach…
When wanting to give our love ones a hug, then just ‘choose’ to give him/her a hug…
Let go of all the conscious talking and surrender in all that is… even a well-paid lawyer can be inspired to choose to be an excellent joyful art teacher…
A choice without a choice…
Do we really have a choice in life?
It does not really matter any more…
Just let the streams carries you and live ‘IN’ life…
Phew! I finally feel more of myself now…
Friday, January 29, 2010
Buffet
Have you taken a buffet lately?
I did.
I had it in the middle of cold weather.
We were admiring the bright white Switzerland while we were having our buffet breakfast. Old friends catching up over plenty of “makan” (eating) ….
We were very excited when we first got to the restaurant, as we were so hungry after a long rest. After viewing the wide selections of food, we wanted to pick up so much food into our plates. However, it took us a few rounds in order to find out what’s our favorite among all the selections. Eventually, we had a wonderful long conversation over cups of coffee before we left.
Our conversation was mostly about new projects.
Are you taking up a new project at this moment?
Or, are you into building a new career/business?
Are you studying for a test for promotion?
The feeling is just like when we first got to the restaurant. We were so excited and wanted to try everything at a time.
However, after viewing the wide variety of food, we were a bit overwhelming of what or where to start first.
Being overwhelming of the workload that we have could slow us down too.
Work could break down into pieces after reading the whole proposal, just like dishing our meal by section; we slowly know where to start digging our dish at a buffet.
This could chunk down (go down into detail) like what we learned in NLP. We could break the whole project into segments.
Instead of being overwhelming, we could handle our project like putting puzzle, piece by piece easily. Just like having our buffet, course by course.
We would go back to the areas where needed improvement in a project. Like after we found out there are certain dishes were pretty good, we would go back for a second serving.
Eventually, the project will complete with great success. Hahah… we finished eating the dishes that we like with satisfaction. That’s why we celebrated with cups of coffee.
Phew! What a huge project I had with my friend this morning. Hahah….
I did.
I had it in the middle of cold weather.
We were admiring the bright white Switzerland while we were having our buffet breakfast. Old friends catching up over plenty of “makan” (eating) ….
We were very excited when we first got to the restaurant, as we were so hungry after a long rest. After viewing the wide selections of food, we wanted to pick up so much food into our plates. However, it took us a few rounds in order to find out what’s our favorite among all the selections. Eventually, we had a wonderful long conversation over cups of coffee before we left.
Our conversation was mostly about new projects.
Are you taking up a new project at this moment?
Or, are you into building a new career/business?
Are you studying for a test for promotion?
The feeling is just like when we first got to the restaurant. We were so excited and wanted to try everything at a time.
However, after viewing the wide variety of food, we were a bit overwhelming of what or where to start first.
Being overwhelming of the workload that we have could slow us down too.
Work could break down into pieces after reading the whole proposal, just like dishing our meal by section; we slowly know where to start digging our dish at a buffet.
This could chunk down (go down into detail) like what we learned in NLP. We could break the whole project into segments.
Instead of being overwhelming, we could handle our project like putting puzzle, piece by piece easily. Just like having our buffet, course by course.
We would go back to the areas where needed improvement in a project. Like after we found out there are certain dishes were pretty good, we would go back for a second serving.
Eventually, the project will complete with great success. Hahah… we finished eating the dishes that we like with satisfaction. That’s why we celebrated with cups of coffee.
Phew! What a huge project I had with my friend this morning. Hahah….
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