Flexility

When I first learned NLP, I could not understand why flexibility in behavior is so important.

 

Why flexibility is so important in our behavior?

 

Why is that so, the people with flexibility in behavior control the system much better?

 

Well, a little story ….

 

I am here in Sydney, attending a super intensive training for a month. Here is the only day that I could totally switch off in my favorite pajamas. I took a four-hour nap in the afternoon. After a wonderful dinner and listening to a talk at home, my friend just pass me a marker pen to teach a group of people.

 

Then what?

 

In my pajamas, with my messy hair after a long nap, without preparing notes and in front of a group of sales people!

 

The old ‘me’ could have rejected the opportunity to share with others.

 

Firstly, my extreme introvert behavior would show. Then I would be thinking of how would they think of me as a trainer to teach in my pajamas? With my hair sticking out standing in front of a group of people? Not well prepared and unsure of what I am going to teach?

 

No way in the old me!

 

As much as I could remember now, I was just doing what I could do! That is to share something valuable to them in order for them to improve their business.

 

I decided to just blend into a totally Aussie style in my friendly pajamas and unique hairstyle. I focus on just do what I need to do…. Hahahha…..

 

Result?

 

They enjoy the session with my friend and me. They have even connected to things that they have just learned pretty fast.

 

Phew! I am glad that my objective achieved.

 

Now I understand. Thank you my friend.

 

 

 

Jealousy

Weeks ago, I had a drink with a friend whom, we keep in touch at heart. That means we do not see or talk to each other very often. We may have a drink once in two years, though we both live in the same small island.

 

He told me about his anger with his father and how much he felt that he was jealous about his classmates, who had the chance to complete their further education. Well, now he has understood and operated at the cause side of the equation. He knows that he always have the choice to continue his studies anytime now. 

 

I was kind of impressed of my friend’s honesty and willingness to make the change to progress in life.

 

One thing I realized is, either envy or jealousy does not help us to progress. This feeling makes us regress and incompetent…..

 

How is that so?

 

It is just a negative emotion…. How could it make us regress?

 

I used to envy about others who could enjoy luxurious in life. Be it, they are capable to make the money or they inherited a big sum, or married someone rich…..

 

The feeling prevented me to feel capable to have what I want in what I can make…. I had the feeling of dependency and the need of someone else’s help…

 

Hope that I have a really high pay job….

 

Hope that I have the chance to married rich….

 

Hope that I would be lucky enough to inherit a big sum of money…..

 

Hope that I would be awarded a big sum of money…..

 

I did not believe that I could make all the things that I enjoy by myself…

 

With all these ‘I hope’ and depending on others, has weaken my belief that I could have it all by myself…..

 

How are we going to do when we feel that way?

 

That’s very easy…..

 

 

…..

 

 

Just turn the table around…….

 

 

 

.........

 

 

 

Hahaha….Thank you my friend…. I have learned a great lesson from you…..