Relationship

What is a relationship?

It is a rapport and trust that have built between two people. They both may have the same interest or with different interest so that they both learn from each other.

The funny thing about relationship is, some people thought that the other party should have known them so well, that they can skip the part of communication, and presume s/he would understand. They have forgotten that even siblings who were brought up in the same family also have differences.

How a mother learn about her baby communicate with her, whether the baby was hungry, unwell or sleepy? Mother who takes care of her baby so well as she knows every single move of her baby shows a sign to her of what is the baby doing.

When the baby has grown up to become a teenage boy, the quality time spends between mother and son maybe lesser. Son knows how to hide emotion from her as he was trained to be a strong boy with ‘man does not shed tears’ theory. Words and actions have become so important in order to close the gap between the mother and son. If not, generation gap was always a convenient excuse of explaining of having the huge deep gap.

Why married couples are having conflict? They assume the love one should have known and understood how s/he feeling in side. Or sometime the partner brushed off the comment or opportunity to reveal the feeling. Yes, you may say the one who always like to voice out is the woman. Women like to have someone to listen to them in order for them to feel important. Like wise, man like to be respected especially in front of their friends and family members. The excellent result produced by their children is always their trophy of having a great family.

Relationship is just like having a plant, we need to continuously water the plant (communicate) and allow the plant to expose to the sun light (allow freedom to nurture). Once in a while we may need to repot and fertilize (open to make the change for improvement), so that both partners can grow together.

Many of us are living in busy metropolitans and always think that they have Internet and cell phone to keep closely in touch of their love ones at home like concerning meals, parties and projects at hands. They have forgotten that the emotion is the core of every individual. Some live in the city for too long that they have forgotten to get in touch of their inner self and even feel uneasy or guilty to reveal their negative emotion to their partner. They feel that they are giving their partner more burden, especially with a partner who avoids getting in touch with feelings.

Eventually, we are still human with feelings. When both partners are having a huge gap and find that they could not find a way to close the gap, they would decide to split. They say they do not have feeling for each other anymore. Or it could cause by having too much of daily conflict that the negative emotion is too overwhelming for staying together.

When asked to discuss just five things what they like and do not like about each other. They found rather shocking source that they have misunderstood each other. All the conflict starts from the perception and response that they chose, from the root cause during the childhood days.

Relationships need communication to develop, patient to nurture and each other’s support to have the courage to grow together. Yes, even we have a long time relationship with our parents of forty years, we still need to work on it to keep the tie sturdy.